Do you feel safe psychologically at work?

Not comfortable. Not just busy. Actually safe within yourself…

There is a difference. And it’s one that most workplaces miss completely.

I work at the intersection of wellness, green business and sustainability. And what I’ve come to understand is that we cannot build resilient businesses or strong communities if the people leading them don’t feel safe within themselves.

So before we talk about strategy or impact, let’s talk about you…what do you know about attachment styles?

Attachment styles show up at work more than you think

We develop our attachment style early based on how safe we felt with the people around us. Most people think of this as a relationship thing. But it follows us into every workplace, every team and every leadership role we ever hold.

There are four worth knowing.

Secure

You can ask for help, hold boundaries and sit with uncertainty without falling apart. You handle conflict without it feeling like a threat and you lead from your values not your fear. This is where we all want to be and it is something you can absolutely work towards.

Anxious

At work this looks like people pleasing, over delivering and needing reassurance. Saying yes when you mean no. Taking feedback really personally. Finding it hard to switch off or let things go.

If you are neurodivergent, rejection sensitive dysphoria in ADHD means perceived rejection hits your nervous system much harder and faster. What looks like anxious attachment is often your nervous system protecting you from a pain that feels genuinely unbearable. This is not a character flaw it is neurology.

Avoidant

This one can look like strength. Doing everything alone. Pulling back when things get intense. Struggling to ask for help or delegate. Mistaking disconnection for resilience.

For neurodivergencts, masking can look exactly like avoidant attachment. When you have spent years hiding your needs to fit in, concealing what you actually feel becomes the default.

Disorganised

A mix of both. Wanting connection but finding it frightening. Feeling pulled in two directions at once. This often comes from more complex early experiences and can feel really confusing to live with.

You are not a box to be ticked

Most of us move between these styles depending on what life is throwing at us. That does not make you broken. That makes you human.

These styles are a starting point not a label. You are not your attachment style. You are not your diagnosis. Every single person is unique. Building a sustainable life that works for you means looking at yourself honestly and individually rather than assuming a pattern explains everything about you.

The patterns I recognise are….We overthink. We read something and suddenly we are convinced we are one thing or another. We analyse every reaction and every conversation until we have lost ourselves completely in the thinking.

The real work is actually the opposite. It is learning to stop. To come back to your body. To find your own sense of safe again without needing a label to get you there.

Find out your attachment style here. attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz

Why this matters more than ever right now

Only 26% of employees globally feel truly psychologically safe at work. Financial stress alone reduces cognitive function equivalent to losing 13 IQ points. We are asking people to build a better world whilst their nervous systems are in survival mode.

That is not sustainable. For people or for the planet.

3 places to start

Know your triggers.

What pulls you out of feeling grounded?

Name it. You cannot work with what you cannot see.

Build a daily personal wellness practice. One form of movement every day. If you are able to Walk, run, swim, dance. Whatever brings you back to your body.

Consistency matters more than intensity. Research has shown you can think about having a workout, connect the feeling visualise this and science has shown that people who practise this have the same impact if they were actually physically active! What we internally tell ourselves is how we think look and feel.

Look at your environment. The culture you work in, the people around you and the spaces you spend time in all affect how safe you feel. That is worth paying attention to.

The most sustainable businesses are built by people who know themselves. Who lead from values not validation. Who understand that the inner work is not soft. It is the foundation everything else is built on.

Remember you can’t control how someone communicates or projects but you can control how you react to it.

Be mindful of how you show up in the world…

It starts with one question.

Do you feel safe within yourself?

If not yet, that is where the work begins. 💚